Heart to Heart with Diane

Don’t look at the number of rolls, or the number of sheets, or the size—
just hone in on the square feet total area.
(1419 square feet for this package)

I’m always on the lookout for bargains, and when I find one I buy as much as I can afford. Toilet paper stores for years, so this is one item I like to stash in my garage rafters. Nobody likes to run out of toilet paper!

It is amazing how widely the price of toilet paper varies, and it doesn’t always have a lot to do with quality. I always felt like I was shooting in the dark when I bought toilet paper, until we figured out a way to determine a comparison price quickly, without a caluclator!

To figure out the best price: just look at the total number of square feet in the package and move the decimal place up 2 spaces. So, if the package says “total area 1419 square feet”, mentally move the decimal place up 2 spaces to 14.19 and add the dollar sign = $14.19. A great price for toilet paper is .01 per square foot of toilet paper. So, $14.19 is the price this package (above) would be if it was .01 cent per square foot.

Now, compare the price of the toilet paper to the number you calculated in your head. If the sale price on this toilet paper was $14.19, it would be a nice bargain (at .01 cents per square foot). In this case, the price was even lower: just $9.99, so I got a real deal, and I bought a lot!

One ply or 2 ply? It doesn’t matter, as ultimately you use about the same square footage at each application. (Did I say that delicately enough?) With 1 ply, you just have to unroll more and double it up, but you still use basically the same amount.

Need another practice problem?

Well, I just got home from shopping and I saw a pack of toilet paper on sale at the grocery store on a big end cap with a sign that said, “WOW! SALE! $8.88”. That caught my eye, so I took a quick glance at the total square feet in the package. To qualify as a good sale, the package would have to contain 888 square feet (or .01 cent per square feet). Don’t pay any attention to the other numbers (sheets, size, etc.). The package stated that there was just 651 square feet total area. No matter the “wow, sale” sign, it wasn’t a wow deal. At just 651 square feet, it would have had to be priced at less than $6.51 to be a good buy.

Once you get the hang of it, you’ll be surprised at how wildly erratic the pricing on toilet paper is. Maybe it is because consumers can’t figure it out easily and just buy whatever looks like a deal, so they can take wide leeway. Even the little shelf label tags that figure it out for you at some grocery stores don’t seem to help, as they often calculate the price per roll—but every roll is different!

Now that you know an easy way to make sense of the price, save some money and stock up!

My son Ammon on graduation day!

I got so many requests for “how-to” on high school homeschool, that here I am again, with details this time. I’m sure there are as many variations on homeschool high school as there are homeschoolers, but this is what has worked for our family.

#1 Find a Good High School
This can be a charter school, private school, or public school, but it most colleges will want the high school to be accredited.

#2 Enroll as a Part-Time Student
Enrolling as a freshman is preferred, as it gives you time to build high school credit, and establish yourself. Even one class is a good start. Not every homeschooler is eager to go to high school (mine weren’t), but one class is usually doable. Orchestra is a good choice, as you get more sober-minded students, it seems. High school orchestra, choir, Honors or AP (Advanced Placement classes) seem to draw wholesome students, and many are homeschoolers.

What to avoid? Woodworking, Auto Shop, Welding, and often Cooking and Drama (depending on the teacher). Unfortunately, hands-on project classes that seem easy or non-academic often attract kids that don’t want to be in school, have truancy issues, even have substance abuse issues. I think that is such a shame, because they would be ideal classes for homeschoolers! (I learned this by encouraging my sons to take Woodworking and Welding and having them experience some pretty vile topics of conversation and rough behavior amongst the students.)

Your best best when a class is in question is to ask people you trust who their favorite teachers were (and why), and if possible, go sit in the class as an observing parent to get a feel for it.

#3 Get “A’s”, Be Dependable, Volunteer, Behave
This is very important, as it establishes your credibility and proves you are a serious student and a good person.

#4 Get Someone to Work with You
Sometimes counselors are assigned, but if you have a choice, choose a counselor that you can work with, who can get to know you and your intentions, and who you can stick with through all your high school years. If you have other siblings before you and have worked with the same counselor, school credit can get easier as your family establishes a reputation for academic excellence.

#5 Plan to Go Above and Beyond
In order to build your credibility as a serious student, it helps to do “over-kill” on the subject. For example, if you are trying to get 10th grade credit for a homeschool English class, carefully look at the school’s course syllabus. If they are planning to read 3 classic books during the school year, you read 6. If they are writing 2 major papers, and a research report, you write 4 major papers and a couple of research reports. If they require grammar review, get a good grammar program and master it.

It was exciting to watch the “wow” on the teacher’s face who looked through our first “credit for homeschool” notebook. He was visibly impressed with all that we had done. It made it an easy decision for him to grant credit. And really, we didn’t do anything unusual or over-the-top—just regular homeschool! His comment was that if his students did a fraction of what we had, he would feel he had done a good job teaching them and preparing them for college.

Often a teacher who is the department head will determine if you receive credit. You need to show second-mile effort if you are asking for an “A”. And why not ask for an “A”? In my homeschool, I don’t use grades. I want all of us to learn for the love of learning, and the whole concept of grades rubs me wrong. If my kids ever ask for grades, though, they get either an “A” or “Do Over”. If you don’t understand a math concept, I am not giving you a “B” or “C” and moving on. You need to learn the concept until it is mastered, and when you’ve mastered it, you deserve an “A”. When asking for credit, we ask a teacher or counselor to evaluate the completed work with the same standard we use in our homeschool: “A” or “Do Over”.

#6 Keep Detailed Records
And I mean, very detailed! Every book, movie, field trip, concert, audio-book, ethic restaurant meal, visit from someone in which you learn something, or personally mentoring session needs to be accounted for. We create a notebook for each course—one of those inexpensive report covers —with a page listing the books read, complete with a few sentence synopsis, author, number of pages, publisher, etc. Another page names movies and documentaries that have been viewed that have educational value and relate to the subject being studied. Another page details extra activities such as field trips, speakers, seminars, museum trips, educational travel, ethnic food eaten (that relate to our studies), and more.

So, for example, when studying World Geography, we ate at several ethnic restaurants in conjunction with studying different countries. We also went to a People and Places Museum, and took a trip to Mexico. A friend taught us how to make some authentic dishes from her country, and told us about her life growing up. All these educational experiences were noted (with a one line entry) in our notebook, as they are at least as valuable as what you may study about in a book.

I also choose a textbook or a reference book that covers the same topics as the book being used in the high school. (You are entitled to borrow the books from the school—you pay taxes for this purpose. But I rarely want to. I prefer homeschooling books which generally are Christian in perspective, and more kid-interesting). I photocopy the cover of the book and the table of contents. These go into our notebook as the first pages. As the semester moves along, and the reading is done in our chosen textbook, a checkmark is placed next to each chapter on the table of contents copy until the book has been completed. Samples of work, best papers written, maps drawn, photos from field trips and more are added to the notebook until a good “portfolio” of completed work is ready. This is a representation of the work you did—showing your best effort.

Don’t make your notebook too big and overwhelming. No counselor has the time to wade through the entire semester’s work. If they want to see more, you have it at home, ready to bring. What I have found is that a nice, approximately 8-10 page notebook per class is just right. Or if it is a sewing class you are trying to get credit for, bring 3 samples of your best work, not a whole closet full!

Some high schools have already created a “home study” version of the class, or an on-line version, and in that case, you must complete that course to get credit. What if there is no “home study version” of the course available at the school? All the better! This allows you to teach your own homeschool course, and then the school can evaluate your work and make sure it meets or exceeded their expectations. You may feel more confident if you take them your course outline before you begin, but I have found that it is easier to get credit afterwards when showing off your marvelous and impressive completed work, than to get approval or an agreement of what would qualify, beforehand.

So. . . why not just go to high school classes and get the credit?
Here’s my short list (leaving out all my political, religious, and moral reasons!)

* Papers can be written on topics of true interest
* Class time can be spent with siblings or other good wholesome friends
* Subjects can be coordinated. History studies can be combined with literature reading of source documents from the time period, and papers can be written on themes from our history studies.
* Movies can be viewed that are uplifting and bring life to the time period studied
* The whole family can study the same topic
* Family field trips and travel can be coordinated to enrich the subjects studied
* Less time is wasted
* Less desirable teachers (and textbooks) can be avoided
* The environment at home is more conducive to study and learning
* Teenagers have more freedom and time to pursue their own educational interests
* Excellent literature can be selected to replace the often questionable reading assigned in high school
* It’s fun to be with your kids learning together!

Frequently Asked Questions:
Q- You mention selecting a good textbook for the course outline—how?
A- I have selected textbooks that I have used in my homeschool successfully. You’ll find the details in my book, Love to Learn! Homeschool Handbook, and on my website under the product descriptions.

Q-What if the counselor doesn’t want to work with me?
A- School has changed so drastically over the past decade. There are many avenues to learning a subject including on-line courses, distance learning programs, college credit for courses taken at the high school, video courses, and more. Most counselors understand that sitting in a brick- and-mortar school building is not the only way to learn in our modern age, and as long as you can show that you have completed the course and learned the information, they will help you get the credit.

In general, our experience has been wonderful, but occasionally I have come across a teacher or counselor who feels that somehow “serving time” is essential to character development. One teacher told me he was reluctant to grant credit, even when competency had been proven. He felt that sitting in a desk and being bored for an entire semester has merit—”it prepares you for a job that you don’t like”. That didn’t fly too well with me. I hope my children will not be consigned to such a future!

When I encounter such a person, I try to move on to someone more like-minded who will work with us. In one instance, after many attempts to work with a teacher, I went to the principal and explained what we were trying to accomplish and asked for cooperation and help, with the understanding that we would have to go to another school if they would not work with us. The principal was sympathetic to us. Since schools are granted government funds depending on enrollment, that helps too.

Q- Why not test out of the class and get credit for it?
A- That is a great option! My son Ammon took Spanish 1 and found it too easy, so he arranged to take the Spanish 2 final test and he got an “A” on it. The teacher was willing to grant a whole year’s credit of Spanish. He enrolled in Spanish 3 and did “A” work. Math, foreign language and other more objective courses work especially well this way. Either you know it, or you don’t. It isn’t very hard to prove you’ve done your homework in these subjects.

Best success!

A “funnest” for Louisa at age 7. She has a St. Patrick’s birthday.

Not just sure how I got into this bedtime routine when my kids were young, but ever since I can remember, I have laid next to my child briefly as they were going to sleep and asked them about the “funnest” and “baddest” thing that happened during the day. (I know that is bad grammar, but I guess it was well understood by a child!)

Tonight, as I talked with Louisa, I couldn’t help thinking about what a powerful influence on my mothering decisions those 5 minutes talks have had. How they have given me a glimpse into my children’s hearts!

Something about laying together in the dark makes a child quite talkative and open. And I always learn something—I’m always in for a surprise! I’ve marveled at how simple it is to make a child happy. Usually their “funnest” thing was nothing I would have guessed: finding a snake, going to the park. And it was often very easy to fulfill, like swinging them on the swing, playing a game with them, coloring, doing crafts, playing with their toys with them, taking them on a walk, making a treat with them, or jumping on the trampoline together. And as they got older, taking the time to focus and talk with them with privately seemed to be very important and “funnest” for them.

And, the “baddest” things were things I would have never imagined! And sometimes I doubt they would have confided to me in the daylight. Getting hurt was generally the “baddest” thing: a skinned knee, a bee sting, or falling off their bike. And as they got older, getting hurt took a different form: a cruel thing said by another child, getting in trouble for doing something that they really didn’t understand was wrong. Being embarrassed. Hypocrisy becomes a common theme as they enter puberty. It is confusing and difficult for them to see people (especially adults) preach one thing and do another.

Just listening, and rejoicing or commiserating, builds a very strong bond of loving respect. So much transfer of values, of the way we view life, comes across in those short bedtime interchanges via our brief comments or words of empathy.

Taking liberty with a familiar poem . . .

You may have tangible wealth untold;
Caskets of jewels and coffers of gold.
Richer than I you can never be—
I had a mother who listened to me.”

Do you know what your child’s “funnest” or “baddest” thing was today?

My son Ammon just graduated from home school plus high school! It has been a joyous time for us, and a time for reflecting. He is my fourth and youngest son—I am all finished homeschooling my boys. That is a sobering feeling. As a mother, I hope with all my heart that I have done a good job, and given him the academic and social skills he needs to succeed in life!

Ammon took a couple of classes at the high school each semester, such as Pre-Calculus, Biology and Orchestra . The rest of the subjects he did in homeschool and earned high school credit for them. This was a joint project for him and I together, studying and discussing, working together for his high school diploma and college entrance. Ammon graduated with highest academic honors, plus was awarded the “Most Valuable Player” in his orchestra. He earned entrance into the university of his choice. It has been a happy culmination of 12 years of homeschooling!

As I sat in the graduation ceremony and scanned the program, I was amazed to notice that the “stars” of the show were all homeschoolers! The speakers, the Valedictorian, the recipients of the highest academic honors, the choir members, the band members—homeschoolers were shining in every area. These kids have been my children’s friends in support groups growing up, have come to our house for teen parties, have been part of our homeschool experience. What fine people they have become!

I read in the news that a new study has proven that the mother* in a family has enormous power to socialize the children. It’s not the school, it’s not the parents’ education or income level, it’s not the opportunities that child has for extra classes or summer camps that matters. It is the way the mother interacts with the children that makes a difference—a difference that lasts a lifetime. The results of the study show that mothers who point out to their children, from as young as 2 years old, the way other people are feeling in any circumstance helps that child to think of others, become more compassionate, more sensitive, and more “socialized”. A child who has been taught to say “you go first”, who has been taught to think about how his actions affect others, grows into a caring and compassionate adult. By age 12, children who have been trained by their mother to perceive the needs of others are already exemplifying adult levels of socialization! This confirms that experience that I have had in my homeschool. It seems by about the age of 12 years, homeschooled children are socially capable, able to handle themselves confidently around adults, able to befriend the lonely and watch out for the needs of other people.

When I was a girl on a family vacation, while driving through the forest I saw a billboard that had been put up by a Christian camp. The word “J-O-Y” appeared most visible, but as we drove closer, the message became clear: J for Jesus, O for others, Y for yourself. In that order. It made an impression on me. I realized that was the formula for joy! That stuck with me through the years and right into mothering. I had never been taught that directly, and it was like a revelation to me!

“Socialization” is usually the main concern others express when we tell them we are homeschooling. I know my mother still worries about it. I think as homeschooling moms, we innately understand that the socialization of our children really lies within us, and how we approach life, and how much the “J-O-Y” formula is a part of our daily living.

On Sunday at church, my 19 yr. old daughter and I were walking alongside an elderly lady with a cane when a teenage girl rushed hurriedly past. My daughter quietly remarked to me that if she herself had done that, even at age 3, she knows I would have pulled her out of the way and told her to think how frightening it must feel to the elderly lady to have someone rush by, threatening her stability. I am sure that teenage girl didn’t even have a clue. If your children are at school all day around children their own age, you have less time and opportunitity to teach them to think of how others feel. If you don’t talk to them about caring for others, the result is that they are less socialized.

Academics are one part of homeschooling, and we rejoice when that goes well. But socializing our children to be caring, sensitive and wonderful people is far more important. Thank goodness homeschooling gives us the time, and the mindset to do so.

Hurrah for homeschooling!

*Note: unfortunately the study could not research the effect of a father on the socialization of his children, because they could not find a sufficient number of fathers who spent enough time with their children to make a significant difference.

Does that term give you the same thrill it does me? I am happy to be raising “school-free learners”. That’s what we do: learn without school. And what a more successful, love-to-learn environment we have because of that choice!

What does school have going for it? I think most homeschooling moms have given that topic pondering time. Over the years of raising my children, we’ve tried a lot of learning environments: charter schools, public schools, K-12, and more. Those experiences have convinced me that for at least the first 12 years of a child’s life, schools can provide little that we cannot joyfully discover and learn in our own homeschool. Joyful learning is important. When learning is fun, it sticks.

When children express a desire to go to school outside the home, what are they wanting? Pretty much, kids all want the very same thing: friends. Adults think school is about education. Kids think school is about friends.

As I see it, the formula for happy homeschooling is part education and part social—and education is the easy part! In this day of internet access, color photography, distance learning, online lessons, state-of-the-art books, educational videos and unlimited information; learning is accessible everywhere and all you need is some dedicated time to learn anything you want. A teacher, textbooks and a classroom is not so vital anymore. A parent who models how to find information, how to evaluate what is found, how to seek out mentors, and how to enjoy learning is a very important person!

More than ever, the second part of the formula—the social part—is increasingly important. If you want your children to grow up as decent people, good citizens, and faithful Christians in an ever-darkening world, the social aspect is crucial. Children need to have friends that they can share their lives, values, joys and sorrows with. Those friends needs to eventually include the opposite sex, so that they have possibilities and opportunities that create hope that they can marry someone wonderful and have a family someday too.

As the world seems to be sliding into moral oblivion, our parental responsibility is not only to teach our children to upright, but it is to help keep them from feeling alone. It is to dispel the mistaken notion that they are the only ones—geeks, oddballs, nerds—intelligent but socially unable to find others like themselves. It may get harder to relate to others in their world—as Christian values lose popularity—so the need is even greater that they find camaraderie and the comfort of friends beyond the family circle. I put a lot of my homeschool effort into my support group, providing that friendship connection for my kids. I think it is imperative.

“School-free learners”. Unlimited joyful learning. Fine friendships. Can it get any better for children than this?

Louisa (13), Me and Emily (19)—the girls still at home

Mother’s Day was wonderful for me—the best Mother’s Day I have ever had! Some of that stems from the fact that I have 3 daughters old enough to scheme and plan a fun surprise, as I’ve said before. But the a lot of it was because I had all my kids (and grandkids) around me for Mother’s Day and it was heavenly for me!

So, let me share a little of why I am so happy: I’ve got great kids. And my married kids are good parents who are trying hard to teach their children to be good Christians, good citizens, mannerly and respectful. I am so pleased. I think all those years of work in raising my children and homeschooling them is paying huge dividends!

We took pictures in my backyard on Mother’s Day, which turned out to be the perfect spring day, lilacs blooming and all!

Here’s my oldest, Daniel, and his family:

Rebekah (5), Daniel, Abigail (almost 4), Melissa
and Isaac (just 1, and happier than he looks in this photo!)

Daniel was my guinea pig, poor boy. Had to learn to mother on him. Had to learn to be a teaching mother on him. Amazingly, he survived and flourished. He went to public school until 6th grade, then homeschooled through high school and finally off to college to become a pretty fab Computer Techy who makes a good income and has a happy homelife with his cute wife and kids. He loves teaching classes at church. They live 10 minutes away, so I am the lucky one!

Melissa is a very devoted mom and I am proud of her! She was a Chemistry major in college, is a good businesswoman, and could easily excel in a career. Instead, she is teaching Rebekah to read, and takes her girls to dance and violin lessons and more. She is following her family tradition and growing an enormous garden full of vegetables this summer! She is an amazing cook. I always feel happy to get invited to dinner.

Isaac tries to eat the lilacs. I don’t blame him. They smell good enough to eat!

Here’s my second child, Nathan, and his family:

Rachel Lily (had her #2 birthday the day before Mother’s Day), Nathan, Melanie,
and Chubby (oops, I mean Christian, who is 8 months old)

Nathan is a caring daddy and husband! My second son, Nathan, was the reason I started homeschooling. He is creative and inventive and so he didn’t fit very well into the public school slot of sitting in a desk and learning. Give him a workshop and some tools and he can excel amazingly. Which is what I let him do a lot of when he came out of public school into homeschool at age 9. There is a burnt spot on his old bedroom carpet to prove it (. . . inventing something with an old toaster. . .). Nathan is a Mechanical Engineer for a company in Thousand Oaks, California. He endured college so he could get paid for what he loves doing: designing and flying remote controlled planes that are used in search and rescue, and in the military. Who would have thought you could get paid for all that tinkering and inventing fun?

Melanie is the most adoring wife, which endears her greatly to me—she loves my son and only speaks lovingly and positively of him! She is an attentive, good little mother who is very busy with 2 babies. She teaches them songs about Jesus, and she even sews Rachel’s little dresses. Melanie was a first grade school teacher before she married my son, and is the oldest of 13 children.

They live far away, and I miss them so much. Rachel loved going out with Grandaddy to see the chickens and gather the eggs every morning while they were staying here. Christian has such a pleasant personality—alot like his easy-going Daddy. It is so fun to have grandkids!

Rachel helps make her #2 birthday cake!

So, that’s my married kids. And when you add their spouses and their children to the family photo, it is getting to be pretty big. When I was a young mother with just one baby boy, I used to look at photos like these of other people and think I’d never make it. The years roll by and it is amazing how the Lord has blessed me!

So, here’s the whole family!

My granddaughter Rebekah

Kind at Home

I’d like for folks to say of me,
No matter where I roam,
“That child is nice and gentle—but
She’s sweeter far at home.

“Her temper never does she lose,
She’s patient as can be
She always strives to spread content,
Among the family.

“She always tidies up her room;
And like a gentle maid,
She strives in countless little ways
To be of some real aid.

“She welcomes, with a friendly smile,
The neighbors as they come;
She’s quite a nice girl anywhere—
But sweeter far at home.”

—Anonymous

Who would suspect that these crispy, light, healthy waffles are made from 100% wholesome brown rice? Doesn’t that seem impossible? I thought so!

I discovered that brown rice could be ground in a grain mill and used in place of flour very successfully. Since whole wheat flour makes a rather heavy waffle, it was a fun discovery. Brown rice is one of the most nutritious grains, being high in healthy fiber, magnesium, and B vitamins. It makes a waffle that is white inside and light and airy. What a wonderful way to eat rice!

Wonderful Brown Rice Waffles

Mix in a large mixing bowl:
4 cups brown rice flour (just grind brown rice in your grain mill)
1 1/4 tablespoons baking powder
3/4 teaspoons salt
4 eggs
2 3/4 cups milk (or water) –may use dry milk

Put the dry ingredients in a large mixing bowl. (If using dry milk, add the dry milk powder to the dry ingredients.) Mix well and make a hole in the center of the dry ingredients. Carefully separate the egg whites from the yolks, reserving the whites in a mixing bowl. Make sure that none of the yolk gets in with the egg whites or they won’t beat well. Beat the whites just until soft peaks form that bend over at the tip. Put the yolks in the center of the flour mixture along with the liquid milk (or water). Stir just until mixed. Gently, gently fold the beaten egg whites into the batter so that all the air stays in them—this makes your waffles light and delicious! Cook in a waffle baker until crisp. Serves 4.

Serve with diced mangoes on top for utter delight!

Note: You can buy brown rice in most grocery stores, but in teeny bags! That doesn’t work for me. If you would like to purchase a 20 lb. bag of brown rice at good savings, take a look here.